I don't buy this jargon

OK, I’ve been called a lot worse things in my time. When you’re a journalist, it goes with the territory. But I prefer to think of myself as an individual who goes shopping when the need arises.

I’m not being holier than thou. I admit I’m prone to random fits of self-indulgence where clothes and shoes are concerned.

But I’m fed up with our media and politicians harping on about the need to get us “consuming”

more in order to revitalise the economy.

It implies that we’re mindless servants of the great god Growth, rather than rational human beings getting on with our lives, making informed choices for our own benefit.

In my experience, the reasons that we aren’t shopping quite as madly as we used to are a) We can’t afford it b) We’ve already got one and we’ve realised that we don’t need another, newer, shinier version just for the sake of it, thank you very much.

We do not exist purely to “consume” whatever stuff someone is hoping to make money from.

I’m also turning into a grammar grump. I find myself repelled by windows plastered with posters boasting of bargains “instore” or “in branch”.

Whatever happened to the definite article? And what’s wrong with that good old-fashioned English word “inside”?

I’ve never parked my car and collected a trolley while remarking to my husband: “Oh look, there’s a special offer instore.” Or headed for the bank thinking: “I’ll just go in branch and get some cash out”.

If these businesses want to use their ghastly jargon among themselves, that’s fine. But don’t inflict it on me. I’m not buying it, and they can BOGOF.

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