IT may come as a bit of a surprise to many of you, but I am only a little bit of a feminist. In fact, pretty much not a feminist. At all.

I believe there are boys’ jobs and there are girls’ jobs.

Before I get lynched, drop your blowtorches girls and hear me out – I am talking about domestic tasks, not paid work.

You see I just don’t like seeing a man hoovering or dusting. It’s just not, well, sexy. Is it? It hurts my eyes.

And every time I have ever meddled in a man’s domain, it has always ended in tears, mostly mine.

In fact, it is lucky that I am still here – take Sunday for instance.

You see, there are two places in my house that shall henceforth be solely the province of men.

1. My pink shed 2. My loft Anyway, because I no longer have a husband (Ok, technically I do but you know what I mean) and the Teen was in the garden messing about with axes and wood with her dad while mine was nowhere to be seen, I was forced to venture into my loft All By Myself to find our advent calendars, which are in the three boxes of Christmas decorations.

I grabbed the rickety ladder, opened the hatch and in one impressive manoeuvre climbed into the loft and located the box.

But getting the large box through the narrow hatch was tricky and I ended up ramming it with all my incredible strength through the gap and onto the ladder.

However, the ladder toppled over, along with the box, leaving me trapped in the dark, dusty and spider-ridden loft, without my phone, which is usually a permanent attachment.

I called for a while, but no one rescued me.

So I had to scale down the walls like Spider-Man, still hanging onto the loft hatch, until I could not hang on any longer.

I ended up jumping a million feet to the floor, narrowly missing the fallen metal death trap (which, incidentally, is deemed “safe” by my dad).

Recent statistics have found that such manly sanctuaries as the shed and the loft can help men relieve stress and help them live longer.

That’s good, because none of my male friends or my dad will mind then, when I ask them to venture into mine, because I am NEVER going there again.

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Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here