AT times over the last year as I’ve worked my way through this black comedy of what is my life, sometimes I sink into a deep despair.

My dearest friends tell me this is quite normal given that the last 12 months have been a rollercoaster ride at best and harrowing at worst.

I have been looking for comfort in all the wrong places, but none quite so bad as my recent escapade.

One of my unsuitable friends, who is a supposedly respectable mother of three, chicken keeper and professional artist, is becoming a terrible influence on me.

She doesn’t partake in many vices (unless you include her silver-tongued wit, which has offended many an innocent stranger and made the hardiest of us draw breath).

What she does is far worse...... she bids for vintage clothes on eBay and is fast becoming an addict (to be honest, she already is).

She came round a few days ago, her dark eyes glinting like the Devil’s.

“Have you got five minutes?” she enquired. “I want to show you something.”

She grappled with my laptop, closing down all my lovely words, and punched in her eBay password before twisting the screen into my face.

She is VERY clever but her wide beaming smile looked imbecilic as she screamed: “Look, look. A Biba original and this dress is an Ozzi Clark from 1978 – my bid has just clinched it and, oh yeah, I have started bidding on this Vivienne Westwood tee shirt just for you, you know like THAT one over there,” she pointed in disdain at my duster, which in its glory days was an original cut and slash Westwood tee that I lived in for 20 years before it fell apart.

I can’t bear to part with it, like many things in my life; I get all clingy and sentimental.

“Um I have the equivalent of the European Debt Crisis on my shoulders and now you want me to buy a tee shirt I don’t actually need,” I said.

Her eyes flashed: “What else is your dad’s money for?”

I refrained from giving her a list of the dull things it gets spent on each week, such as food, petrol and laundry.

And I looked closer at the T-shirt which was, admittedly, rather fab.

I am now counting the days until my tee arrives.

Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here

Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here