Dogs get our tails wagging

For the first time in a very long time, my heart, which I have protected as if it were made of glass, has been filled with unconditional love and joy.

With her fat, squidgy body and her lopsided, deep brown eyes, Maggie Marshmallow the bulldog, has squirmed her way into my affections.

Just a few hours into her tenday stay I thought I would be stressed and suffering. Instead I am smiling and happy and dreading the day she goes back to her London home.

I am so sorry that I am still banging on about the bulldog but a) I can’t help it and b) my life has been fairly quiet since the chin burn (which, incidentally, has just cleared up).

Looking after Marshie has not been easy. She needs to be carried up and down the stairs and the five-stone bulldog who last week was scared of water, is now fearless and bounds over to any fast flowing river without a care in the world.

She has absolutely no idea that her cumbersome frame would plummet like a brick – needless to say I have been spending much time clambering over Forest and field to rescue her from bogs and deep pools of water.

She loves walking after a car journey, but hates walking from her front door.

She sleeps on my bed and wakes me up by snaffling my hair (which now needs professional attention).

She won’t leave the cats alone and jealous Jarvis wishes her dead.

She is like a cross between Bagpuss and Churchill the insurance dog and when she wants help to be lifted on to the sofa or go up to bed, she sounds just like Anne from Little Britain - the resident at the Steven Spielberg hospital whose catchphrase is “Eh-ehehhh”.

But despite the hard work, I love her and I will be sad to see her go.

The thing about dogs is that they teach us how to love unconditionally. Research has proven that children who are brought up with a pet dog have higher levels of self-esteem than children who aren’t.

Dogs don’t have an agenda, they are honest with their emotions, they have basic needs and wide open hearts – unlike hundreds of people who are either completely out of touch with their emotions or keep them closed off, oblivious to their rinky dink behaviour.

Not surprising then that 72 per cent of people in a recent survey said they would prefer to confide in and cuddle their dog than their partners.

I promise that this will be my last Maggie Marshmallow column for the time being.

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