THE Farmer and I fell out last week.

He had a rant and hung up on me. The following day, I had a rant and hung up on him.

We stopped speaking for a whole week.

I wondered if I would ever hear from the 6ft plus giant ever again.

Anyway, on Saturday there was a knock on my front door.

I opened it and there he was, standing there, grinning, as if nothing had happened at all.

“I have something for you in the van.”

I was very intrigued because unlike the three wise men, Farmer boy is not renowned for bearing gifts, well not for me anyway.

And because I find it virtually impossible to remain cross for long, I was desperate to know what was in there. I wasn’t worried as I knew he wouldn’t have stretched to a hit man.

He opened the doors and pulled out the tallest Christmas tree, wrapped in net, and dragged it into the house, where it just skimmed the ceiling.

How different this was to last year when we went to find one after he told me he would probably be able to get me a “free one” from a farmer in the forest.

The said farmer was nowhere to be seen and I ended up having to remortgage my house to buy the blasted thing for £792 or thereabouts. Bah.

Anyway, as the net fell away its beautiful branches bushed out into a perfect triangle. I almost wept as he put the tree in the stand, mended my broken lights and furnished the green beast in about 15 seconds flat.

Now I don’t know about you, but for me and the former LOML, putting up the tree became known as The Annual Debacle – causing numerous battles and taking several days for the tree to hold its posture.

Notoriously I would flounce out in a strop only to return and find him clutching his baubles.

The former LOML came over that evening with his seasonal greetings for the Teen and I and even he was stunned by the beauty standing in the corner of my dining room.

“That is a beautiful tree. Where did you get it from?”

“The Farmer brought it round.”

“Oh. Well you would never have got that in the Getz.” He studied the tree further. “And it is perfect.”

How generous I thought. I love Christmas and its spirit of goodwill.

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