Christmas TV? Rubbish!

Long gone are the days when millions used to tune in for the likes of the Morecambe and Wise Christmas specials – although they do still roll them out every year and I did watch a show comprising clips of the best bits with my son.

I wanted him to know why they were just so good, and I found myself laughing along with him as Andre Previn gamely jumped in the air on the rostrum so Eric could see him over the lid of the piano – even though I’ve seen it a million times before.

But there wasn’t a lot that could match it in terms of present-day entertainment.

The only thing I really wanted to watch was the Doctor Who Christmas special, when Matt Smith morphed into Peter Capaldi. Unfortunately, as the late great Morecambe was wont to say, it was “rubbish”.

Maybe the makers concentrated all their efforts on the excellent 50th anniversary edition and had little left to give to the Christmas show. Still, it was a disappointment.

Apart from that, the only things that seemed to be on were repeats, films I’d either already seen or had no wish to, the odd costume drama aimed at ladies of a certain age and soaps – and I never did like EastEnders, let alone its penchant for heaping on even more misery than usual especially for Christmas.

In the end, when we did turn on the telly to see us through the post-present-opening, ‘eaten dinner and need a rest’ mid-afternoon slump on Christmas Day, we watched Singin’ in the Rain.

It’s one of those films you can watch over and over again, although on the back of the previous day’s viewing, my mind kept drifting away from Gene Kelly and towards Ernie Wise gleefully dancing through the bone-dry streets as poor Eric got wetter and wetter.

I suppose in future I could do what my mother spent the Christmases of my childhood yelling at me to do and “turn off that TV. It’s Christmas!”

Or there’s always the pile of DVDs Santa brought me.

Now what’s more festive – half the 1970s Hollywood A-list burning to death in Towering Inferno, a bit of mass shooting Tarantino-style in Pulp Fiction or Life of Brian?

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