LAST week my aquarobics class (average age, wrong side of 50) was taught by a young, lithe and very quirky stand-in teacher.

He was a fantastic dancer, but most of us ended up with our feet tied in knots as we tried to copy his routines.

Gangnam Style looks so effortless when you’ve mastered the moves.

I’d say that would take me six months, minimum.

Not that it mattered.

We were all laughing at our own efforts, and it was great fun.

I can’t say I’ve ever waded through treacle, but attempting nifty footwork in a swimming pool can’t be that different.

The water resistance, especially when making a sudden change of direction, ensures that any attempt at elegance is doomed.

But hey, not much else happens on a Thursday morning (apart from the publication of the Journal, of course) that could brighten up my day like that.

Speaking of wading through treacle, Sainsbury’s application for a supermarket and petrol station on the Southampton Road meadows (587 documents so far!) is still wending its way through our tortuous planning system.

Someone recently drew my attention to the fundamental objection lodged by the Environment Agency, that the scheme is “against national planning policy as it would be within … functional floodplain”.

Just in case national planning policy turns out not to be worth the paper it’s written on, the agency has also explained some of its technical issues with the scheme as it stands – on stilts, that is.

Not least, there are “strong concerns” about the void intended to hold floodwater beneath the store, and “whether designing a scheme with the need for regular inspection and maintenance of such a confined space (some 16,000m2 – 18,000m2 in area with approximate void height of 1m) is a safe, sustainable or even an achievable solution”.

Verdict: The development carries “an unacceptable degree of uncertainty and risk of possible future failure”.

Sorry to bore you with the detail, but few people will see this otherwise and in my view, everybody needs to.

Despite these deep misgivings, it’s also been suggested to me that only the Highways Agency has the clout to stop this scheme dead in its tracks.

And its staff are still working with the developers on traffic modelling.

The tone of their correspondence with Wiltshire Council troubles me.

They talk about matters having “not yet” reached the stage where they can impose planning conditions, as if envisaging that the scheme could eventually be acceptable to them.

It’s very definitely not a definite no.

As I write this, the rain’s pouring down outside my window.

I recall last winter’s floods only too clearly – my garden was submerged for weeks on end – and I ask myself what on earth has to happen before our society learns anything at all.

When we put the column online tomorrow I think you could add a blob par saying: After this column went to press, Sainsbury's announced a pre-tax loss of £290million and said it would be scrapping some of its planned new stores. Is it too much to hope that it will grasp this opportunity to give in gracefully and save our meadows?

anneriddle36@gmail.com