It is one of those verbal lobs that's just meant to set off a bit of banter – in this case about the diminishing returns of family togetherness. Frayed nerves aside, if your leg isn't in plaster and propped on a chair at the moment then you've had a lucky escape, judging from the articles about Christmas-specific hazards and injuries published each year.

Who knew there was so much danger lurking in seemingly benign circumstances? The back is a prime target for holiday misadventures. Whether it's schlepping shopping bags full of food or presents, hoisting a 6ft evergreen tree or manoeuvring a 15-kilo turkey in and out the oven, opportunities to wrench the spine in some unfortunate way are many and varied over Christmas.

Even the post lunch nap isn't safe. One clinic warns that if you hunker down for a snooze in your favourite armchair after lunch you're likely to sit poorly for too long and might well strain your spine.

And then there are silly accidents. A friend's uncle sprained an ankle after slipping on a bit of wrapping paper, and those sparkling baubles are lovely when hung on the tree but if you have ever stepped on one you know how lethally sharp the broken bits are.

Some Christmas trimmings can be quietly menacing as well. Toxins in mistletoe berries slow the heart rate and can cause hallucinations and the orange berries of the Christmas cherry can cause stomach pains.

The environment takes a beating as well. More than 13,000 tonnes of glass is thrown out in the UK during the festive season and of the eight million Christmas trees sold in the UK each year, 160,000 tonnes worth are tossed out rather than recycled. All this excess spurs a natural response to redress the balance so here we are in January, feeling inclined to cut back, dry out and save money. In my household, this impulse is manifesting itself in a major effort to declutter our house. Great bin bags of rubbish, of unwanted books and of clothes have been collected to be taken to the tip and charity shops.

Which is terrific. Problem is that collecting the stuff is as far as we've come. The whole project started to lose its appeal by the weekend, especially given the prospect of a mile-long queue at the tip. So all those bin bags are lying in wait along the corridor and more than once I've nearly tripped over them, narrowly averting a tumble down the stairs. Add the January cleanse to the list of holiday hazards then.