WE retirees can’t be everywhere. We’ve got social lives, you know!

But I regret missing a humdinger of a meeting between two of our parish councils last week, and I’ve been busy playing catch-up to bring you the gossip.

Laverstock & Ford, as you know, are up in arms about a ‘merger’ bid by Salisbury, who are earnestly desirous of more money and think they can get it by nabbing their neighbours’ council tax under a boundary review.

So Laverstockers packed the review meeting organised by Wiltshire at Wyvern College last Wednesday.

They left no one in any doubt about their feelings, with one speaker conjuring up a vision of the city’s erstwhile Mayor, Andrew Roberts, leading an invasion force of Panzer tanks along Pearce Way. Not in the best of taste, maybe, but you know my warped sense of humour… Salisbury’s Tory group leader Matthew Dean suggested in a spirit of helpfulness that the smaller parish would benefit from the city’s muscle in fighting its battles.

Someone should have reminded him that only a few months ago, the city’s planning committee enthusiastically endorsed the huge airfield housing development proposed at Old Sarum, without bothering to consult those most closely affected by and most strongly opposed to it, i.e. the residents of Ford.

“Patronising and dismissive” was how one of them summed up the city’s reaction to their pleas for help over that particular issue.

Stronger together, eh? Now where have I heard that recently?

And with European matters in mind, Ford councillor Ron Champion pointed out that in a ‘merged’ authority, the smaller parish would have only three out of 29 members.

“This would be like the EU,” he said. “We could be outvoted every time where the interests of the city come into conflict.”

More of a hostile takeover, then, than a merger.

If any city councillors feel like contradicting him, they might ask themselves whether they honestly think Salisbury has been better or worse represented since it became part of the Trowbridge empire, where it doesn’t have a single cabinet member.

Wiltshire’s pretty fed up with Salisbury, too.

It wants to relieve itself of our public toilets, among other assets, and it’s now made its offer of a new £500,000 CCTV system conditional on the city taking them on.

But the city council is playing hard to get, linking a deal to the parish ‘merger’.

This shilly-shallying has prompted the resignation of the chap in the chair at Citywatch, responsible for running the cameras.

Former police chief Julian Kirby has had enough of “unstable” city politics putting the project at risk.

Our BID team, too, are running out of patience with this posturing, accusing the Guildhall Gang of having looked a gift horse in the mouth.

Who said local government was dull?

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