EVEN before I did it I knew I shouldn’t.

Tempted by the sunshine I decided to ignore the weeds in the garden, the household chores, the many many things that I’d promised to do without fail this weekend.

Instead, to my son’s delight, we bundled the dog and the camping gear into the car, raided the fridge and headed off to explore the great outdoors.

It was a rather quaint campsite just an hour away in Somerset, but it might have been the other side of the world.

We went rowing on a lake, climbed trees (well, one of us did!), walked among the buttercups, wandered over the hills, visited a modern art gallery, ate pizzas from a wood fired oven, and drank beer (well one of us did).

We breakfasted on bread and cakes from the local baker and abandoned our cares, concerns and Xbox games.

But, returning to the empty house was when the ‘shoulds’ got their revenge.

I should have dealt with the Triffids that have taken my recent abstinence from gardening as an opportunity to invade; I should have tidied and cleaned the house, instead of abandoning it to the dog hair; I should have spent time clearing out my Inbox, and getting everything ready for school on Monday morning… Like many today, I have become a victim to what one psychologist describes as ‘the tyranny of the shoulds’.

‘Shoulds’ sit on our shoulder like a sort of malevolent Jiminy Cricket, convincing us that we’re not good enough, whispering to us that we should be better, fitter, lose some weight.

Some of these ‘shoulds’ come from our parents. As children, we begin life thinking that all our personal needs are at the forefront of everyone else’s mind.

But as we grow we begin to assimilate the expectations that surround around us: you should be doing better at school; your bedroom should be tidier.

Sometimes it’s our parents sitting on our shoulder, but the pressures can pile in from everywhere – friends, the communities in which we live, the media.

We’re invited to compare ourselves (usually unfavourably) to others; our frame of reference becomes external rather than internal and we criticise ourselves.

Of course, there are times when it’s right to do things to please others – but what’s important is that we recognise those occasions.

“Try asking yourself why you feel you should do these things,” advised on psychologist.

“Ask yourself, what’s the worst that could happen and what’s the most likely thing that could happen. Change your ‘should’ to a ‘could.’”

If we give ourselves permission not to be perfect, life is suddenly much more appealing and full of ‘coulds’.

‘I could have weeded the garden, but I chose to enjoy a weekend away with my son instead.’ I feel better already.