So, I’ve made a decision. Or, rather the decision was made for me.

Either way, it feels incredibly right.

When I was younger (as I am unbelievably old now), I never thought that I could make my own decisions. Either some ‘thing’ or some ‘one’ was in control of my life, the curvaceous path that took me to various places, people and situations. Maybe there were a mass of ‘oughts’ and ‘shoulds’ involved, subconsciously or consciously dictating my actions. Regardless of my ‘influences’, I know now that something has changed. A light has been turned on.

I’ve realized a couple of things.

Firstly, one can make plans (hoards of them) but often, these fail. I will never forget the guy who asked me, ‘So, what is your five-year business plan?’ This was in the midst of a dance class. With my mind focussed on movement, I was a bit taken aback. I still have yet to order my business cards, briefcase and palm pilot. (But, I’m working on it …). Plans don’t always work out. Thus, how is it truly possible to make a decision?

Secondly, there often exists a plethora of options, an amalgamation of hopes, ventures, applications pursued. However, it is not totally up to oneself as to the outcome. This is dependent upon many factors, which are uncontrollable by the individual. And this, this latter point is imperative to take into consideration. No-one is in total control of their life …… and in realizing this; I have found that the best decisions are made.

I describe it as a type of ‘letting go’. It is easier, far much easier to allow oneself to walk away from that inner pressure and allow the wave of mental reason and emotional safety take oneself to another shore. And so, that is what I’ve done.

The decision has been made. I couldn’t go on worrying, considering or debating no longer. I just had to listen ‘inside’ and see the external options available. And bizarrely enough, my decision was made, without much fuss or concern. What is right in life is often the easiest option. It’s the safest, healthiest and also, most interesting one. Yes, it’s new and different but choosing the alternative fork in the road is one way of being true to oneself. It’s a way of reaffirming one’s own identity.

And with one decision now being made, I am now able to not only sleep! But see the way to continue on the journey, to explore the unknown, with the sure knowledge that whatever happens next, the foundation blocks are incredibly secure.