A FEW weeks ago, Lifestyle featured some of the problems facing deaf people as they try to go about their everyday lives. These ranged from ignorance and intolerance to lack of measures in public services. There is another side to it which can be more disturbing and even more traumatic - the gradual decline of hearing which can occur in anybody. The strange thing about this deterioration is that the sufferer is often the last to know. It can start with them repeatedly asking friends to repeat themselves, and then move on to loud TVs causing arguments when everyone around them is being blasted by the sound. Of course to them, the TV and any other noises around them sound no louder than normal, and it can often take a family member or close friend to point out there is something wrong.

At first, it can be a source of irritation with friends becoming frustrated as they are ignored or asked to repeat a request again and again. Finally, the person in question might just have to own up to the fact that there is a problem. Not easy when you're talking about the possible loss of one of the senses. The Bromley Access Centre in Beckenham helps people come to terms with their loss, and explain what is happening and what it may mean.

Centre assistant manager Linda Robinson says it's not always an easy job for those giving the support. "Sometimes people are brought to us by members of their family who have been driven to desperation. They can no longer cope with things like having the TV 20 decibels louder than usual. They can be unwilling to accept there is a problem and, in those cases, workers need to talk to the sufferer alone. Often they don't want to talk about it, but once we've been with them for a while they can start to come round to accepting what's happening. Then, they are more willing to be helped."

However, most people attend willingly even though they are themselves severely frustrated and at the point of desperation, not knowing where to turn or what to expect as it gets worse.

"We can talk to them for up to two hours, explaining that they can cope," says Mrs Robinson. "We introduce them to people who have already been through it and they can then see that it is possible to get through the period. At that point, there's an acceptance about what's happening and they can start to learn to lip-read and begin to build their confidence again."

Part of this confidence building is being able to ask people to slow down when talking and not to turn away. If they keep turning away, lip-reading can become difficult or impossible. This can be especially hard in situations such as parties when many people can be involved in the same conversation. Even here, Mrs Robinson says it is still possible to communicate and not be shut out of the group. "You have to be assertive but if the people you are with are understanding, there's no reason you should be excluded. It's about having the confidence to tell them you have a problem and to slow down."

Chief officer of Bexley Deaf Centre Bernadette Ewen, agrees that one of the most important aspects of their work is to restore confidence. She says the realisation of hearing loss can be devastating, close to grief.

"People are losing something that is very important to their lives so it isn't going to be easy to come to terms with. "It can take time but by using positive role models, such as others who have acquired deafness, they start to see it is possible to cope."

If you are having hearing problems, or are concerned about someone who is, you can call the Bromley Access Centre on 0181 289 8050 (voice) or minicom on 0181 289 8090, or call Bexley Deaf Centre on 01322 550879.

Both centres will be happy to give help and advice and they can tell you about help available locally.

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