DUM de dum, what shall I write about this week? After all, I’m tired of all that commentary and hyperbole about the election results.

One of the regular “anti-politics” criticisms which accompanies the annual publication of Parliament’s accounts is that food and drink are heavily subsidised at Westminster.

It is indeed true that for years the catering facilities have run at a loss. I once sat on the Commons Administration Committee and I think the loss was estimated at some £35 per seat at lunch and dinner. I was, however, sceptical that the problem would ever be solved just by putting the prices up. It struck me that there were two fundamental issues that most commercial restaurants do not face: first, the fact that when Parliament goes into recess the footfall takes a nosedive, but the overheads remain constant; second, that the most expensive of those overheads – by a country mile, is the cost of providing security to the parliamentary estate.

Stung by the repeated criticism that MPs and their guests are living it up at the nation’s expense, the prices have been rising sharply, so much so, that many of the dining clubs now meet elsewhere rather than at the Palace of Westminster where it has become just too expensive. I don’t think that the parliamentary authorities are too concerned about this, because they are after the much more lucrative corporate clients and the revenue that can be had by marketing the Palace of Westminster as a prestige location to host an event.

Now members of the public can even have their wedding receptions there – but at a very substantial price.

The irony is that it is not so much the MPs that are being squeezed out, but members of the public themselves. Many charities who used to hold functions at Westminster can no longer afford to do so. There are many members of Probus, Rotary and other similar clubs and organisations from the New Forest who will have enjoyed their afternoon tea in one of the Commons dining rooms after a tour of the Palace of Westminster, but will they be able to do so ever again? Back in the autumn I invited the New Forest Normandy Veterans up for a tour and tea this month, before they go back to France in June for the 70th anniversary of D-Day.

When I inquired about the cost of providing afternoon tea I was shocked to discover that the Commons wanted £500 for the room, £20 per head for the afternoon tea, and £5 per head surcharge because it was a Friday. Gadzooks! That worked out at £50 per head. Now, I do not doubt that I could have got some local sponsorship to cover the cost, but frankly I would have been embarrassed asking for it with such poor value for money. In the event, my wife and my secretary baked the cakes and made the sandwiches (I made a sponge too, but it wasn’t a success and was unfit to be served), we borrowed one of those large industrial teapots from my village hall and we served the tea ourselves, at what must have come in at under £20 for the lot. The veterans seemed to enjoy is as much as I did. Perhaps that’s the answer: If I lose my seat to UKIP at the next election, I can do teas instead.