IT’S awful. She’s making the same mistake all over again.

Emma had finally broken free from a destructive relationship with an alcoholic. She’d been locked into a pattern all too familiar to some. He’d apologise for mistreating her, promise to reform (this time he really would change) but in a few months he’d succumb to his addiction and the race to mutual destruction would run another lap. But this time he really would change…

Sadly, the realisation that his addiction had too great a hold and that, however much she loved him and wanted to help him change, he couldn’t.

His illness was destroying her and her family; she broke free. For Emma it was like a breath of fresh air.

She instantly felt younger and a spring in her step replaced the slouch of her shoulders.

And she met someone else. The first couple of dates looked promising. Until she started talking about the way he took control, deciding the restaurants, treating waiting staff with disdain, dictating when and where they met...

To Emma’s friends it was all too obvious. She had escaped from one controlling and destructive relationship and was about to embark on another…

Emma is in good company. It’s something we all do: repeat the same patterns of behaviour because there’s comfort in familiarity; discomfort in the unknown.

Joe (the editor) will tell you that one of my destructive behaviours is leaving things till the last minute. Way beyond our agreed deadline, I will be burning the midnight oil tapping at the keys in order to get my article to the Journal.

With it arriving at the last possible nerve-wracking minute before it goes to press, it’s not just difficult for those who have to edit the page and choose the photo (sorry, guys!), but uncomfortable for me too - but familiar. I keep telling myself that with a little foresight, discipline and planning, I could write it a couple of days beforehand.

It wouldn’t take any longer and I would save myself my weekly anxiety. Instead of panicking about what to write, I could sit down with a nice glass of something red and heart-warming and relax.

That’s what my brain tells me – week after week. But whilst I recognise my own good counsel, I am somehow unable to put pen to paper (or rather digit to keyboard) without an imminent deadline looming.

The paradox is that it’s always easier to see how others could so easily break their bad habits, than find a way to break our own.

And the irony is that it is so much easier to see destructive patterns in others than it is to identify them in our own lives.

Right, enough waffling. Time to start my article….