IT IS my long time goal to campaign for childcare to be 100 per cent tax deductible.

This in itself will create more choices for parents, but mainly for women.

The emancipation and equality of gender is my passion.

Until I separated from my RAF husband I was decreed by the military to be a ‘dependent’. Now that we are apart, I am known as ‘out of his control’.

During my dependency, my long-serving husband was called into the boss’ office and told to control me when I wrote something unsatisfactory in the station magazine.

In fact over the years the sabres have rattled as I have been called off the record and it has been politely suggested that I wind my neck in otherwise the consequences could be far reaching.

Of course, these rattling sabres had no legal substance and soon the policy was clear.

If you are my friend and you call me to ask me how I am, then that is fine, but when it comes to my work there is no such thing as ‘a quiet word’.

Once these ground rules were established, we could keep each other at arm’s length and nod politely if our paths crossed.

The military relies heavily on the selfless sacrifice of the spouse or non-serving partner to carry the family burden while the serving deploy from training, to exercise and war.

But as women find their own ambitions and wish to deliver their lives differently, this status quo will become increasingly challenged.

Even separated from my husband, I carry the burden of extra responsibility so that he can deliver in his job.

If I didn’t, and no one else could, the military would advise my husband to have the children fostered so he could deploy.

This is the reality of the modern military.

  • Writer and journalist Clare Macnaughton’s latest book is available on Amazon worldwide.

A Modern Military Mother – Tales from the Domestic Frontline is an honest account of decade of being married to an RAF officer serving in the British military.

Follow Clare on twitter: @amodmilitarymum.