Amber Gould is a 26-year-old ‘retired’ photography teacher with a baking obses- sion, a blog (www. sentientbaker.com) and voracious dreams of a new career

IT IS now just over two weeks until I don my chef’s hat and take the first steps to becoming a pâtissière.

The course spans the next nine months and covers everything from short crust to sugar casting. I am as delighted as I am nervous.

On good days I beam at well-wishers, enthusing “Yes it’s very exciting, I’m very excited!” I smile to myself as I bake for my blog and stare dreamily into a pink and rosy future where I’m allowed to play all day with brownie batter and bannetons and call it “work”.

But there are days when apprehension descends upon me in a fog of “what if’s”. What if my pâtisserie peers all have much more experience than me? What if I nervously trip over my own feet and decorate the floor with the innards of my painstakingly assembled Croquembouche?

What if I find that, after all of this, I’m just not cut out for a career in a field that is so highly competitive and, at times, laborious?

Leaving a secure job in pursuit of a dream is as liberating as it is daunting; the pressure to succeed is paramount, this is not a tentative attempt at something, this simply has to work.

On some days my rosy future is eclipsed by visions of cracked palms, aggressive kitchen dialect, 3am bakery shifts and meager earnings.

It would seem that the sneering face of reality seeks me out and tries to unnerve me, attempts to discourage me but, despite my worries, there still remains no safer place than the kitchen.

My initial response is still to wiggle in delight at the prospect of my chef’s hat, to rub my palms together in anticipation of the breads I will make, the masterpieces I will sculpt and the resources I will have access to.

My fears still remain an afterthought, beaten down by the comforting prospect of cake.

Next month I shall speak to you from the other side, from the early days of my training, to relay the joys and horrors that have been awaiting me in the pastry kitchen