HOW tickled I am, having spoken on the telephone to veteran comedian Ken Dodd, who brings his much-loved Happiness Show to Salisbury and Bournemouth this weekend.

"Knotty Ash is a little bit sunny and chilly today," reports Ken, tickling stick in hand, naturally.

Amazingly, Ken Dodd will be 80 this year and has entertained audiences up and down the country for more than 50 years. "I never look at birth certificates," he says. "In fact if I was a dog, I would be 10 years old, so I am a dog this year. Just imagine, Doddy is half poodle, half Rottweiler."

Before setting off on tour, Ken always consults his giggle' map of Britain, showing which jokes people prefer in different parts of the country.

"I was a salesman before I went into showbusiness," he says. "Excuse me madam, can I sell you a bucket?, that sort of thing. I made a note of how many pots and pans were sold here and how many dusters were sold there, and it worked. When I went into showbusiness, it seemed sensible to write down the key words that produced a titter, a little laugh, a big laugh or a raucous laugh, in every venue I performed.

"Salisbury is a bit of a hybrid, the audience can be a mix of sophisticates and rural. Mr and Mrs jokes go down well as do jokes about lovers, and I always put something in a bit earthy. Oh, and concern about the price of sausages. While Bournemouth is quite a different kettle of fish, the jokes have to be quite upmarket."

Asked if he felt audiences have changed since he started performing in 1954, he replies: "Everything changes, life changes, it is the same for show-business. In the early days you played a whole week in one venue, which sometimes felt like a month. Every town in Britain had a variety theatre, and I remember the first time I played in Bournemouth - top of the bill was Alma Cogan. I'll never forget that."

l Ken Dodd is at Salisbury's City Hall on Good Friday and at Bournemouth's Pavilion Theatre on Saturday and Sunday.