OH joy of joys! The Antiques Roadshow is coming to Salisbury.

I don’t think I have any seriously valuable mystery items to take along , although I am a very keen amasser of all kinds of stuff, a regular haunter of auctions, charity shops and boot sales.

Most of my acquisitions would come under the headings of ‘20th century kitsch’ or possibly even ‘junk’, depending on your point of view.

Certainly not genuinely historic or remotely posh. I can only dream of having a chipped, scruffy 50p bargain to present that might turn out to be some ancient Chinese artefact.

Nevertheless I love that programme. I’ve been hooked on it for years.

It’s not so much the corny ‘reveal’ where they cut away to the owner’s face when the value of their prized item is announced – doesn’t everything come down to money in the end? – it’s the crowd shots of families of all shapes and sizes queuing up in time-honoured British fashion lugging all sorts of pots, pictures and odd objects – much the same enjoyment as I find at the Shepton Flea Market, plus you don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn!

And those dreamy scenes of summer sunlight beaming down on the mellow old stonework of some stately pile, surrounded by acres of pristine greenery, that entirely mythical image of Brits as a nation permanently kitted out in broad-brimmed hats and summer frocks, clutching family heirlooms, with their improbably well-behaved, well-spoken children, and dogs that never seem to poop on the grass at just the wrong moment.

It conjures up a fantasy Britain of orderliness and plenty, of cheery optimism and good manners. Enid Blyton, in fact, with a soft-focus dash of Edwardian country house like some Merchant Ivory film. And goodness only knows we’ll need all the spirit-lifting we can get after this Brexit omnishambles, which will presumably be over by then. Although you never know. Yes, that was a groan you heard.

Then there are the show’s human treasures. The zany enthusiasm of that glass expert Andy McConnell. Bonkers! In a good way, I hasten to add. Not to mention the gentle grizzly David Battie, with his ever-wilder hairstyle. He’s had horrible health problems to overcome in recent years but I read somewhere that he’s been there since the very first episode.

Almost, but not quite, my all-time favourites. That honour has to go to cuddly Henry Sandon, with his lovely smile and such genuine warmth as he shares his expertise on ceramics.

Last, but by no means least, there’s Fiona Bruce, who I think really ought to be Prime Minister.

What a professional that woman is! Not only an authoritative newsreader and politely no-nonsense Question Time presenter, but a charming ‘people person’ who obviously creates a great rapport with the crowds because she is genuinely interested in what is going on around her.

She has the ‘common touch’ without appearing to make the slightest effort.

A class act indeed!

I’ll see you in the queue at the cathedral.

anneriddle36@gmail.com