Back when I was offered a place to go to university, it came with a caveat.

One of the subjects I wanted to study was economics and not having done A -level maths I was accepted on the grounds that I took some extra lessons before going.

Once I’d arrived, the tutors’ views on the importance of maths hardened further.

The three of us without A-level maths were sent to have a weekly session with a young, long-limbed mathematician called Luigi whose remit was to take us from GCSE to degree level in just eight weeks.

Now Luigi, I’m sure, was brilliant at maths. But a combination of his lack of teaching skills, together with the (lack of) ability of the three students he was trying to teach, left the project a non-starter.

By the end of term, Luigi had given up, swiftly followed by the three of us doing the same with the economics course.

I was reminded of this with the news this week that Rishi Sunak has announced, or rather re-announced, his plan to make every child learn maths up to the age of eighteen. In a speech on Monday, Sunak criticised the fact that ‘we make jokes about not being able to do maths … we say ‘oh maths, I can’t do that, it’s not for me’ and everyone laughs … we’ve got to change this anti-maths mindset.’

Too right Rishi. Those scurrilous people making jokes about not being able to do … oh, hang on. It’s probably for the best Rishi prefers his columns on a spreadsheet.

Because if you want jokes about being bad at maths then you can count on me.

As plans go, Rishi’s vision doesn’t add up.

Here’s one particular sum where he needs to show his working out: how do you teach kids another two years of maths when as a country we’re already massively short of maths teachers?

We can’t tap into teachers from abroad because of, well, Brexit.

And the 50-somethings that Jeremy Hunt is wanting to entice out of retirement would prefer to divide their time between the golf course and the garden centre.

Sunak gave his speech at the London Screen Academy, claiming: "You can’t make movies without maths." 

Perhaps he’s planning to remake Life of Pi: the heartbreaking story of a mathematical constant no one really understands.

Either way, his maths-movie formula was disproved by actor and writer Simon Pegg: "I dropped maths as soon as I could and I’ve never needed it other than the skillset I acquired at the age of twelve."

Writing a weekly column is the same. The only maths you need is to make sure you don’t go over the